Stripped

I became a Christian when I was 16. It was truly one of those fall on your knees, flat on your face, tears galore before the Almighty King type of conversion. So trying to perfect my walk with God has been the most important quest in my life. Like church. I went to church every single Sunday since, only missing a few for reasons like travel or moving. Yes, it was a big part of my life and who I was...a church-goer.

Recently though, I've been stripped. From the body, from other Christians, and from prayer "warriors." Scripture talks about the head not being able to function without the body, and foot not being able to function without the leg...and so on. You see, I didn't just go to church, I was a part of it. I lead, I prayed, I volunteered, I made the coffee, I directed a bible study, I sang, I cleaned, I cooked, you name it.

For about over a year now, I've been looking for a new church. Since I'm a newly wed with children, it did not make sense to drive 30 minutes to church every Sunday any longer. So why would that be so hard to find? I live in Texas. Churches here are planted right across the street from each other. And not that I'm picky...I've been a part of an Alliance, Evangelical Free, Pentacostal, GenX and Baptist churches. Discrimination is certainly not my style.

For those of us who have been going to church for years. We know the drill. You start off by singing some songs, a quick minute break is taken to "meet those around you," shake hands, then there's a prayer, preaching is usually a topic backed by popular scriptures, another prayer is said for the unsaved, possible altar call, more songs are sung, then if the announcements weren't said in the beginning, it is now...and another prayer to end, maybe sing another song, and you're dismissed. Sound about right?

But this post is not about how churches are so "mold"y. Or redundant. Or even just downright boring. It's about why I was ok with not having a church for a year. I mean, isn't that a part of being a Christian? Is being a part of a church? I mean...that's what I was taught.

"Be still, and know that I am God."

One of the best advice that I was given was to put my bible away and just... Be. Still. Crazy right? Aren't we supposed to go save the world? Evangelize our friends? Memorize ALL scripture? Never miss a Sunday and/or Wednesday? Volunteer, be involved, go to bible study...

Oh the guilt I felt! That I was not doing any of these things...and all at the same time, I was completely relieved. I was learning to not be in the kitchen like Martha, and to be at the feet of Jesus like Mary. (Luke 10:40)

I spent my time getting to know my new husband, my new kids, my pregnant body, and my new life. I truly believe that God had to strip me away from the church to give me rest. To let me be. To know that He is God. That even without me, the church can still survive, and more importantly, that I can still survive..

Rest was really what I needed. So I did. Slept in, lounged, read magazines, enjoyed my new baby, watched movies, and slept some more. And it was all ok. It was ok to not use my free time to pray, it was ok not hustle and bustle on our way to church every Sunday morning, it was just ok to Not. Do. Anything. And I was at peace...for the time being.

Not that all good things had to come to an end, but after getting acclimated to my new life, I was in desperate need of someone to pray with. A place to go to and know that we are like minded. Where I can sing praises. Kneel at an altar. Have communion.

It is still a part of me. To be a part of a church. And not too long after, God gave us one. One that my husband and I have really enjoyed. We both have learned from the preachers teaching. No specific topics. Just scripture. That's all.

You see, there's no perfect recipe in the kitchen, in life, or in church. Some of it is sweet, some bitter, and surely some sour. Going to church every Sunday, every other, or not all...just be still, and know that He is God.